Thank you about your wifely advice to me, but no thanks.
I am not open to be ruined by the socialist standards
In Psychology, there's what we call 'post purchase psychological behavior A lot of people tend to have it after purchasing an item,I do too .
What does this have to do with my post?
I want to talk about marrying a wife yet not finding happiness.
I have worked in an office where a single young lad would give little advise to lots of married couples coming through to my desk, Some online some offline.
A lot of people are married and still alone in the marriage, reason might be a little mistake not caused by them but by their social/environmental factors, of keeping up with the trend.
Now let me address this, yes the society tries to build up a certain criteria for people, profession etc and people suffer shock of those things despite that it was the society that brought it.
Yes you’re a well trained LAWYER, DOCTOR, ENGINEER, ARCHITECT and what have you and now the society tells you hey sis or bro you need to marry or date someone that is of the same level and cadre, the rest are not for you but the society forgot to tell you that ‘YOU SHOULD GO FOR LOVE, RESPECT, PATNERSHIP, CARE, AFFECTION, UNDERSTANDING’ but it told you to go for status and you forgot that you should be cared for.
You got married because of class, level, personality but why didn’t you choose love and respect over them?
I noticed that once they see you are doing good, lots of people will tend to turn to relationship/marriage consultants forgetting that at a time in your life someone was there for you at your downs and believed in you. It’s not all about prayers, it works but someone was there for you morally, psychologically, supportive but they wouldn’t say it or see it.
Then the family will come up with who to marry to look good with you on the magazine cover pages, and interviews or live sessions with the press,someone with the body figures but forgetting that marriage is more than that.
That's what ruins us I will not let it get to me. A lot of people have asked me, 'Kay, you write so well and you will make a good husband, are you married? That wedding band you wear will scare lots of people away from you?'
I just look at some comments and smile because they wouldn’t understand how I got here. I have always said every man is a good husband, every woman is a good wife, but the variations is on the interpersonal relationship that person (SINGULAR) is having with the spouse, and how they tend to adjust to the differences in their personalities.
I have long had in my mindset that I wouldn’t let no family, societal, class, nor any form of external form/source force me into being or getting married to a lady because of her functions or acts to the society.
Yes, I know someday I will be a good and world acclaimed psychologist and some press/interviewers will love me to come with my beautiful wife, maybe for on air programs radios/television and I know they would love to ask her questions. As her loving hubby I will always put her through in all I do and I know she will be smart that’s why I choose her from the rest and above all her humility to serve was what made her the best, and the eagerness to learn and support our dreams made her whole, and I will teach her all she needs to know. We are team and that’s all that matters to me. I'm so blunt that when you say a thing I don’t like to her you are soo in for me.
Let me break it down here,
Some men get married to a lady because of how her body features will appear in the camera, magazine covers, profiling thereby losing the main goal of marriage, getting in line with the social standard, forgetting that ‘MARRIAGE IS A FULL TIME JOB, NO BREAKS, NO SUMMER, NO WINTER, NO HOLIDAYS, NO RESTING HOURS OR OFF DUTIES”.
Yes, that’s why some people are having POST PURCHASE PSYCHOLOGICAL BEHAVIOURS because you can’t just return her to the seller. You know what in this life once you follow the societal trends and it starts to give you lots of worries that you feel you can’t cope, that same society will make mockery/judge and castigate you.
I remember after my last paper in the university, I broke and scattered my pen like it was over, frustration did set in during my project works no completion money and lots of red Biro marks on my projects from my supervisor. Till the day of the defense the zeal to present my own written project left me that I had to go to coke center to drink 2 bottles of legend beers for my first time in life. During my presentation I was hallucinating but later pulled through. I had no friend I could confide in, I was really all alone in a class of over 300 reg numbers, I drove home that day, only to get extra year at the end, I didn’t feel anything, I only knew my reg number and 2 friends. They left for NYSC, I stayed again the second extra year.
Why did I write this? Sometimes you tend to lose sleep and make decision hurriedly because your set is doing it, but who really cares about you in your set? Who calls you up till now? Who knows your where about and keep you in line?
I saw some of my classmates commenting on a blog post “HEY I KNOW KAY HE IS MY SET AND CLASS MATE IN PSYCHOLOGY UNIZIK.” I saw the comments I smiled and liked it, that was the girl that never liked any idea I brings up in class.
Moral: When you are happy, dedicated that’s when you have set.
And I will get married to that one woman my heart bleeds for that understands my madness and sanity, and visions.
I have lived my little life as mine, yes, I'm so stubborn to my life, all my life lots of people has/had played key roles in my decision making but I call them and say not in my life you can make it in your families not in mine. I have been through lots of life’s redefining stages and you can talk to me based on advisory level.
Yes you read me in blogs, magazines soon I will be appearing in the Africanism history story, but have you thought or asked me how I got here? The summary was “I KEPT DOING ME” . I was looked as insane for being me I never knew I was going to be source of hope to myself, and some other people.
Sometimes life can be challenging and it seems that our mind can’t think in the right form or our thoughts are failing us but that is when you should have a good grasp of yourself and try again.
I didn’t wake up to this decision, I went through rougher parts to get to this points.
I am not open to be ruined by the socialist standards
In Psychology, there's what we call 'post purchase psychological behavior A lot of people tend to have it after purchasing an item,I do too .
What does this have to do with my post?
I want to talk about marrying a wife yet not finding happiness.
I have worked in an office where a single young lad would give little advise to lots of married couples coming through to my desk, Some online some offline.
A lot of people are married and still alone in the marriage, reason might be a little mistake not caused by them but by their social/environmental factors, of keeping up with the trend.
Now let me address this, yes the society tries to build up a certain criteria for people, profession etc and people suffer shock of those things despite that it was the society that brought it.
Yes you’re a well trained LAWYER, DOCTOR, ENGINEER, ARCHITECT and what have you and now the society tells you hey sis or bro you need to marry or date someone that is of the same level and cadre, the rest are not for you but the society forgot to tell you that ‘YOU SHOULD GO FOR LOVE, RESPECT, PATNERSHIP, CARE, AFFECTION, UNDERSTANDING’ but it told you to go for status and you forgot that you should be cared for.
You got married because of class, level, personality but why didn’t you choose love and respect over them?
I noticed that once they see you are doing good, lots of people will tend to turn to relationship/marriage consultants forgetting that at a time in your life someone was there for you at your downs and believed in you. It’s not all about prayers, it works but someone was there for you morally, psychologically, supportive but they wouldn’t say it or see it.
Then the family will come up with who to marry to look good with you on the magazine cover pages, and interviews or live sessions with the press,someone with the body figures but forgetting that marriage is more than that.
That's what ruins us I will not let it get to me. A lot of people have asked me, 'Kay, you write so well and you will make a good husband, are you married? That wedding band you wear will scare lots of people away from you?'
I just look at some comments and smile because they wouldn’t understand how I got here. I have always said every man is a good husband, every woman is a good wife, but the variations is on the interpersonal relationship that person (SINGULAR) is having with the spouse, and how they tend to adjust to the differences in their personalities.
I have long had in my mindset that I wouldn’t let no family, societal, class, nor any form of external form/source force me into being or getting married to a lady because of her functions or acts to the society.
Yes, I know someday I will be a good and world acclaimed psychologist and some press/interviewers will love me to come with my beautiful wife, maybe for on air programs radios/television and I know they would love to ask her questions. As her loving hubby I will always put her through in all I do and I know she will be smart that’s why I choose her from the rest and above all her humility to serve was what made her the best, and the eagerness to learn and support our dreams made her whole, and I will teach her all she needs to know. We are team and that’s all that matters to me. I'm so blunt that when you say a thing I don’t like to her you are soo in for me.
Let me break it down here,
Some men get married to a lady because of how her body features will appear in the camera, magazine covers, profiling thereby losing the main goal of marriage, getting in line with the social standard, forgetting that ‘MARRIAGE IS A FULL TIME JOB, NO BREAKS, NO SUMMER, NO WINTER, NO HOLIDAYS, NO RESTING HOURS OR OFF DUTIES”.
Yes, that’s why some people are having POST PURCHASE PSYCHOLOGICAL BEHAVIOURS because you can’t just return her to the seller. You know what in this life once you follow the societal trends and it starts to give you lots of worries that you feel you can’t cope, that same society will make mockery/judge and castigate you.
I remember after my last paper in the university, I broke and scattered my pen like it was over, frustration did set in during my project works no completion money and lots of red Biro marks on my projects from my supervisor. Till the day of the defense the zeal to present my own written project left me that I had to go to coke center to drink 2 bottles of legend beers for my first time in life. During my presentation I was hallucinating but later pulled through. I had no friend I could confide in, I was really all alone in a class of over 300 reg numbers, I drove home that day, only to get extra year at the end, I didn’t feel anything, I only knew my reg number and 2 friends. They left for NYSC, I stayed again the second extra year.
Why did I write this? Sometimes you tend to lose sleep and make decision hurriedly because your set is doing it, but who really cares about you in your set? Who calls you up till now? Who knows your where about and keep you in line?
I saw some of my classmates commenting on a blog post “HEY I KNOW KAY HE IS MY SET AND CLASS MATE IN PSYCHOLOGY UNIZIK.” I saw the comments I smiled and liked it, that was the girl that never liked any idea I brings up in class.
Moral: When you are happy, dedicated that’s when you have set.
And I will get married to that one woman my heart bleeds for that understands my madness and sanity, and visions.
I have lived my little life as mine, yes, I'm so stubborn to my life, all my life lots of people has/had played key roles in my decision making but I call them and say not in my life you can make it in your families not in mine. I have been through lots of life’s redefining stages and you can talk to me based on advisory level.
Yes you read me in blogs, magazines soon I will be appearing in the Africanism history story, but have you thought or asked me how I got here? The summary was “I KEPT DOING ME” . I was looked as insane for being me I never knew I was going to be source of hope to myself, and some other people.
Sometimes life can be challenging and it seems that our mind can’t think in the right form or our thoughts are failing us but that is when you should have a good grasp of yourself and try again.
I didn’t wake up to this decision, I went through rougher parts to get to this points.
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