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| True Self |
KAY ARE YOU
HAPPY? True life story
POST WARNING:
The post you are about to read is a very deep thought processed post
and it’s not just a random post.
Read this post with all the attention, mental alertness you
can ever give to a post.
It’s a brief shocker I received from my
personal surgeon.
Kay are you happy?
It’s been a long while since I visited my plastic
surgeon, about 14 to 16 years I guess. I called him up and informed I want
to see him for a brief chat and health checkup, he obliged and booked
me.
That morning, it wasn’t conducive for me due to
few changes in plan but eventually I made it to his office.
At the reception, the nurse on duty asked me to wait but my
surgeon overheard me and said, 'Obum, come in.
I'm so sorry none of
all these nurses know you, grab a seat let’s get to the reason why
you are here!'
Doctor: So it’s been years Obum. i remember
the last knife I sliced you was when you had in growing toenails, hope it’s healed?
Kay: They are all fine now, Sir!
Doctor: so why are you here?
Kay: I'm here to get checked. I want to fix my left arm, and
also scrape the remaining part of my keloid face.
Doctor: (stood up, assessments and all, went back to
his seat, smiled and said) ARE YOU HAPPY?
Kay: Yes Sir, I am!
Doctor: are you planning on getting married? The ring on
your finger?
Kay: Yes I will get married someday.
Doctor: is SHE pressuring you on the surgery or is it your
idea?
Kay: Yes, it’s all my idea.
Doctor: years ago you were rolled in, i and team of 8 other
doctors managed you, nobody knew you would go this far in the first 3
months, you were in coma. We always prayed you make it home.
Your mother was booked in a bed close to you because she sustained burn scars
too due to the fact that she dropped your flamed pajamas on her legs. Your
father is indeed a strong man, keeping /running two families (your siblings at
home, you and your mother at the hospital). It was a long time but you
are still my favorite burn patient because of your elastic adaptation to
pains and you gave your family, friends and the nurses’ hope. Your 3rddegree
burns to my knowledge you disproved me and made it home.
As your personal doctor and surgeon, there is
nothing I can do to you now and I will not ever take you into my
THEATER again, you are good this way. I saw you pull over a car in the
hospital, you drive? You are smart! Educated! Intelligent! I read you in
the blogs, magazines, news-feeds, timelines and all but why do you still worry
more? At a time all your family wished for you was to stay alive.
I have sliced your body for a long time and I know how it
feels. The money your parents spent and all, the pains you have been through.
Ok, remember when you were discharged and due to the healing
processes your left arm go contrasted that I had to slice your full hand and
part of your back to correct it?
Kay: yeah! I do remember.
Doctor: you bleed a lot that day. It's sad you want to
do this plastic surgery but it will not be from me. You're my friend, not my
patient.
Kay: why? (Feeling so down and confused)
Doctor: you are one of those patients I have treated
that anesthesia doesn’t work on. You have adjusted the threshold of your
pain that you don’t really feel too much pain, just smiles and being alone.
You've been a good young kid since I met you at IYIENU and till date
I'm still marveled at how you have stood your ground on our now
society that sees burns victim as visionless, scary, or maybe at alms survival.
You broke out of the chain of living with burns and I'm happy we are here today
having this chat.
Kay: since you said that you will not slice me ever again
what do you advice I do sir?
Doctor: it’s a hard decision but I will say it to you
because at the end it is only you (YOU WILL HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE SCARS).
Now listen, I can scrape all this scars off but mind you if I don’t do it
within the keliodial skin layer it will all resurface. This time
heavier and thicker and thereby causing you more depression because
you will lose lots of money and still having a
heavier keloid scars. Some will advise you to
take injections and all but Kay how many years will you take the injections?
And let me blow your mind, those injections are steroids. They will fail you at
the end.
You have always been a brave man, whatever that is
pushing you to these ideas isn't worth it. Just cut is out, it’s of no good to
you.
I know you have been through a lot both in schools and all
but always look at the brighter part of life.
Hey remember the first time you visited my hospital for your
ear slicing/ treaming. After the administration of so much mils of
pain reliever I tried to cut deep through your body and sewing them, you were
in deep pains and I had to administer overdose of the anesthesia just
to make sure you were not feeling the pains. I tried to ask you some questions
just to make sure your brains/CNS no longer transmit the pains and
insertion of the blades and all, you kept saying you want to be a
petrochemical engineer just to buy your mum a car, house and also make
sure no one experienced burns from adulterated kerosene.
But I'm happy you are not that today, am happy fate brought
you to being a Clinical Psychologist. I guessed it helped you become who you
are today, I wish someday for your story to be told (A LIVING LEGEND).
You are indeed a God’s gift to earth. I will
not force you not to go to other doctors here and beyond to get yourself fixed
but mind you, they would always ask me for my files/folders about you and my
expert opinion, I will still tell them NO.
Kay: but wait on sir, it wasn’t easy being like this, am
heading to 3 decades, I had learned on how to adjust psychologically,
emotionally, mentally and all. To be me wasn’t easy, but I'm
happy.
Doctor: now how did you get here?
Kay:
words
HOW DID I
BEAT DEPRESSION: as a growing up 9 years young lad, I visualized the
society is free and fair, I remember that time I was crying to go home. After a
year I got tired of the hospital, got tired of the bed to bed numbering deaths
and you sent me home almost when it was about to get to my bed? The hospital
administrator wanted to keep me but we both insisted that I booked as OPD
patients and all. I got home that day despite the blood dripping from the
gauzed bandages, I was happy to be home, see my siblings, go back to my six
spring bed, get to watch my red black & white television in my room and see
the neighbors and all it was a very good view, till this (unnamed) kid drummed
into my ear to run away from house flies, then my fears started that I could
see a fly from far away and run. It affected me; I couldn’t go out because of
it. I was driven to the hospital for dressing on daily basis but
as the healing process was increasing, it was every other day till once a week.
The keloids were not there, I was just fair and white that my little
sis always say, 'Kay, are you now white?' because I was really white then, till
the itching started.
IDEATIONS: Yes
ideations do come and go and I have never given in to it.
It’s a life people with scars are seen as less human in the
society, but trust me a lot of those with scars are smart, intelligent,
hardworking, serviceable and so much more.
Remember those scars could be you, him, her, they, we
and all. And trust me, stigmatization is real. I have felt it.
ANXIETY: yes,
as a normal human being either with scars or not, psychologically at
a point in ones life’s struggle will tend to go through anxiety.
I had to deal with it, it’s a psychological process.
During my secondary school days I was scared of
being mocked at, yabbed at but trust me, I was mocked at I felt it
but there’s nothing I could do. It's a very big school
filled with lots of students (different homes, perception about
life, societal values, religion, ethnicity etc).
What did I do? I developed a thick skin during one of
the yabbing sessions. I first yabbed myself, “Yes, I am a
burns patient ugly etc.” then hit hard verbally on the guy that wanted to talk
ill of me. Indeed I used the words he thought that once he tells me I will kill
myself on me first, there and then he lost grip and I put him straight.
Case closed!
I went home that day and cried myself to sleep but
I got to let them know socially that they can’t use those words on me.
I was rejected so many times because I couldn’t fit into the
system, I had scars and sometimes I bleed so I wasn’t what they
needed and I had to crawl back to my shell.
Didn’t ask questions in class, had to copy from
my younger brother till we parted. He left for art while I was left
in science. At a time I wanted to join him in art but the class was all filled
up. He's indeed my hero; he always fought for me and he was a gift and
definition of a blood and brother. We do fall out but he’s my best
gift. I'm happy to have him, some even thought we were twins but we
weren’t.
FURFILLED: doctor,
it depends on what you see as being fulfilled. I am
not fulfilled reason being that I don't have the wherewithal to go to
the grass roots to share my life with those burns victims, the
stigmatizing they face, hate speech, stares. Lots of burns NGOs
have written to me on being their member but none is ready to go to the
rural & grass root. Life is not on Facebook, the real life
is outside where you can really go out to the street and make people believe in
themselves, feel loved, motivated, hug them, let them see that spark
of what you write and post here in your attitude and behavior.
When I was invited by Infunaya the founder
of FAITH MICHEL’S FOUNDATION on one of her programs tagged: SHARE A
SMILE, i participated with much enthusiasm. She indeed went to the grass roots
to really cause a smile on the faces of the less privileged.
That's the kind fulfillment I want Sir.
ARE YOU HAPPY?
I know a lot of the people reading this might have skipped
out some of my other answers just to read this ARE YOU HAPPY response.
I am alive today to sit down and type-write my
autobiography.
In the hospital back then, those with lighter burns 2nd 1st degree
died but miraculously I made it alive. All my other reconstructive surgeries I
have never begged for blood or bought blood in the bank, still a miracle.
The strength to carry on was there, I was just a baby; God
gave me an outstanding threshold for enduring of pains, still a miracle.
All my days in the hospitals, few of them I never had any
complications. My wounds and surgeries site healed perfectly despite the
weather conditions, still a miracle.
Despite my whole face was covered by the fire, at the end my
two eyes were left unhurt, my dimples, my golden smile, my thick hair, my pink
lips and my chocolate color, still a miracle.
My parents, God blessed them with nice friends that helped
support my unimaginable hospital bill, still a miracle.
Despite the itches I had during my healing process that I
almost cursed life because I felt it was giving me migraine, still a miracle.
A lot of people ran away from me because they weren’t sure
if it was me that told them in jss1 see you guys tomorrow and resurfaced in
jss2 like, damn man is this really you? We need proof! I love you guys now we
acted our age then more love to you all.
I left different higher institutions because I had
personality issues but now am me, still a miracle.
To be continued………………..
FB: Kay Obum
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