KAY ARE YOU HAPPY? True life story
POST WARNING: The post you are about to read is a very deep thought processed post and it’s not just a random post.
Read this post with all the attention, mental alertness you can ever give to a post.
It’s a brief shocker I received from my personal surgeon.
Kay are you happy?
It’s been a long while since I visited my plastic surgeon, about 14 to 16 years I guess. I called him up and informed I want to see him for a brief chat and health checkup, he obliged and booked me.
That morning, it wasn’t conducive for me due to few changes in plan but eventually I made it to his office.
At the reception, the nurse on duty asked me to wait but my surgeon overheard me and said, 'Obum, come in.
I'm so sorry none of all these nurses know you, grab a seat let’s get to the reason why you are here!'
Doctor: So it’s been years Obum. i remember the last knife I sliced you was when you had in growing toenails, hope it’s healed?
Kay: They are all fine now, Sir!
Doctor: so why are you here?
Kay: I'm here to get checked. I want to fix my left arm, and also scrape the remaining part of my keloid face.
Doctor: (stood up, assessments and all, went back to his seat, smiled and said) ARE YOU HAPPY?
Kay: Yes Sir, I am!
Doctor: are you planning on getting married? The ring on your finger?
Kay: Yes I will get married someday.
Doctor: is SHE pressuring you on the surgery or is it your idea?
Kay: Yes, it’s all my idea.
Doctor: years ago you were rolled in, i and team of 8 other doctors managed you, nobody knew you would go this far in the first 3 months, you were in coma. We always prayed you make it home. Your mother was booked in a bed close to you because she sustained burn scars too due to the fact that she dropped your flamed pajamas on her legs. Your father is indeed a strong man, keeping /running two families (your siblings at home, you and your mother at the hospital). It was a long time but you are still my favorite burn patient because of your elastic adaptation to pains and you gave your family, friends and the nurses’ hope. Your 3rddegree burns to my knowledge you disproved me and made it home.
As your personal doctor and surgeon, there is nothing I can do to you now and I will not ever take you into my THEATER again, you are good this way. I saw you pull over a car in the hospital, you drive? You are smart! Educated! Intelligent! I read you in the blogs, magazines, news-feeds, timelines and all but why do you still worry more? At a time all your family wished for you was to stay alive.
I have sliced your body for a long time and I know how it feels. The money your parents spent and all, the pains you have been through. Ok, remember when you were discharged and due to the healing processes your left arm go contrasted that I had to slice your full hand and part of your back to correct it?
Kay: yeah! I do remember.
Doctor: you bleed a lot that day. It's sad you want to do this plastic surgery but it will not be from me. You're my friend, not my patient.
Kay: why? (Feeling so down and confused)
Doctor: you are one of those patients I have treated that anesthesia doesn’t work on. You have adjusted the threshold of your pain that you don’t really feel too much pain, just smiles and being alone. You've been a good young kid since I met you at IYIENU and till date I'm still marveled at how you have stood your ground on our now society that sees burns victim as visionless, scary, or maybe at alms survival. You broke out of the chain of living with burns and I'm happy we are here today having this chat.
Kay: since you said that you will not slice me ever again what do you advice I do sir?
Doctor: it’s a hard decision but I will say it to you because at the end it is only you (YOU WILL HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE SCARS). Now listen, I can scrape all this scars off but mind you if I don’t do it within the keliodial skin layer it will all resurface. This time heavier and thicker and thereby causing you more depression because you will lose lots of money and still having a heavier keloid scars. Some will advise you to take injections and all but Kay how many years will you take the injections? And let me blow your mind, those injections are steroids. They will fail you at the end.
You have always been a brave man, whatever that is pushing you to these ideas isn't worth it. Just cut is out, it’s of no good to you.
I know you have been through a lot both in schools and all but always look at the brighter part of life.
Hey remember the first time you visited my hospital for your ear slicing/ treaming. After the administration of so much mils of pain reliever I tried to cut deep through your body and sewing them, you were in deep pains and I had to administer overdose of the anesthesia just to make sure you were not feeling the pains. I tried to ask you some questions just to make sure your brains/CNS no longer transmit the pains and insertion of the blades and all, you kept saying you want to be a petrochemical engineer just to buy your mum a car, house and also make sure no one experienced burns from adulterated kerosene.
But I'm happy you are not that today, am happy fate brought you to being a Clinical Psychologist. I guessed it helped you become who you are today, I wish someday for your story to be told (A LIVING LEGEND).
You are indeed a God’s gift to earth. I will not force you not to go to other doctors here and beyond to get yourself fixed but mind you, they would always ask me for my files/folders about you and my expert opinion, I will still tell them NO.
Kay: but wait on sir, it wasn’t easy being like this, am heading to 3 decades, I had learned on how to adjust psychologically, emotionally, mentally and all. To be me wasn’t easy, but I'm happy.
Doctor: now how did you get here?
Kay: words
HOW DID I BEAT DEPRESSION: as a growing up 9 years young lad, I visualized the society is free and fair, I remember that time I was crying to go home. After a year I got tired of the hospital, got tired of the bed to bed numbering deaths and you sent me home almost when it was about to get to my bed? The hospital administrator wanted to keep me but we both insisted that I booked as OPD patients and all. I got home that day despite the blood dripping from the gauzed bandages, I was happy to be home, see my siblings, go back to my six spring bed, get to watch my red black & white television in my room and see the neighbors and all it was a very good view, till this (unnamed) kid drummed into my ear to run away from house flies, then my fears started that I could see a fly from far away and run. It affected me; I couldn’t go out because of it. I was driven to the hospital for dressing on daily basis but as the healing process was increasing, it was every other day till once a week. The keloids were not there, I was just fair and white that my little sis always say, 'Kay, are you now white?' because I was really white then, till the itching started.
IDEATIONS: Yes ideations do come and go and I have never given in to it.
It’s a life people with scars are seen as less human in the society, but trust me a lot of those with scars are smart, intelligent, hardworking, serviceable and so much more.
Remember those scars could be you, him, her, they, we and all. And trust me, stigmatization is real. I have felt it.
ANXIETY: yes, as a normal human being either with scars or not, psychologically at a point in ones life’s struggle will tend to go through anxiety. I had to deal with it, it’s a psychological process.
During my secondary school days I was scared of being mocked at, yabbed at but trust me, I was mocked at I felt it but there’s nothing I could do. It's a very big school filled with lots of students (different homes, perception about life, societal values, religion, ethnicity etc).
What did I do? I developed a thick skin during one of the yabbing sessions. I first yabbed myself, “Yes, I am a burns patient ugly etc.” then hit hard verbally on the guy that wanted to talk ill of me. Indeed I used the words he thought that once he tells me I will kill myself on me first, there and then he lost grip and I put him straight. Case closed!
I went home that day and cried myself to sleep but I got to let them know socially that they can’t use those words on me.
I was rejected so many times because I couldn’t fit into the system, I had scars and sometimes I bleed so I wasn’t what they needed and I had to crawl back to my shell.
Didn’t ask questions in class, had to copy from my younger brother till we parted. He left for art while I was left in science. At a time I wanted to join him in art but the class was all filled up. He's indeed my hero; he always fought for me and he was a gift and definition of a blood and brother. We do fall out but he’s my best gift. I'm happy to have him, some even thought we were twins but we weren’t.
FURFILLED: doctor, it depends on what you see as being fulfilled. I am not fulfilled reason being that I don't have the wherewithal to go to the grass roots to share my life with those burns victims, the stigmatizing they face, hate speech, stares. Lots of burns NGOs have written to me on being their member but none is ready to go to the rural & grass root. Life is not on Facebook, the real life is outside where you can really go out to the street and make people believe in themselves, feel loved, motivated, hug them, let them see that spark of what you write and post here in your attitude and behavior.
When I was invited by Infunaya the founder of FAITH MICHEL’S FOUNDATION on one of her programs tagged: SHARE A SMILE, i participated with much enthusiasm. She indeed went to the grass roots to really cause a smile on the faces of the less privileged. That's the kind fulfillment I want Sir.
ARE YOU HAPPY?
I know a lot of the people reading this might have skipped out some of my other answers just to read this ARE YOU HAPPY response.
I am alive today to sit down and type-write my autobiography.
In the hospital back then, those with lighter burns 2nd 1st degree died but miraculously I made it alive. All my other reconstructive surgeries I have never begged for blood or bought blood in the bank, still a miracle.
The strength to carry on was there, I was just a baby; God gave me an outstanding threshold for enduring of pains, still a miracle.
All my days in the hospitals, few of them I never had any complications. My wounds and surgeries site healed perfectly despite the weather conditions, still a miracle.
Despite my whole face was covered by the fire, at the end my two eyes were left unhurt, my dimples, my golden smile, my thick hair, my pink lips and my chocolate color, still a miracle.
My parents, God blessed them with nice friends that helped support my unimaginable hospital bill, still a miracle.
Despite the itches I had during my healing process that I almost cursed life because I felt it was giving me migraine, still a miracle.
A lot of people ran away from me because they weren’t sure if it was me that told them in jss1 see you guys tomorrow and resurfaced in jss2 like, damn man is this really you? We need proof! I love you guys now we acted our age then more love to you all.
I left different higher institutions because I had personality issues but now am me, still a miracle.
To be continued………………..
obumlovely@gmail.com
+2347031810349
FB: Kay Obum
For your comments/seminars invites/ work
POST WARNING: The post you are about to read is a very deep thought processed post and it’s not just a random post.
Read this post with all the attention, mental alertness you can ever give to a post.
It’s a brief shocker I received from my personal surgeon.
Kay are you happy?
It’s been a long while since I visited my plastic surgeon, about 14 to 16 years I guess. I called him up and informed I want to see him for a brief chat and health checkup, he obliged and booked me.
That morning, it wasn’t conducive for me due to few changes in plan but eventually I made it to his office.
At the reception, the nurse on duty asked me to wait but my surgeon overheard me and said, 'Obum, come in.
I'm so sorry none of all these nurses know you, grab a seat let’s get to the reason why you are here!'
Doctor: So it’s been years Obum. i remember the last knife I sliced you was when you had in growing toenails, hope it’s healed?
Kay: They are all fine now, Sir!
Doctor: so why are you here?
Kay: I'm here to get checked. I want to fix my left arm, and also scrape the remaining part of my keloid face.
Doctor: (stood up, assessments and all, went back to his seat, smiled and said) ARE YOU HAPPY?
Kay: Yes Sir, I am!
Doctor: are you planning on getting married? The ring on your finger?
Kay: Yes I will get married someday.
Doctor: is SHE pressuring you on the surgery or is it your idea?
Kay: Yes, it’s all my idea.
Doctor: years ago you were rolled in, i and team of 8 other doctors managed you, nobody knew you would go this far in the first 3 months, you were in coma. We always prayed you make it home. Your mother was booked in a bed close to you because she sustained burn scars too due to the fact that she dropped your flamed pajamas on her legs. Your father is indeed a strong man, keeping /running two families (your siblings at home, you and your mother at the hospital). It was a long time but you are still my favorite burn patient because of your elastic adaptation to pains and you gave your family, friends and the nurses’ hope. Your 3rddegree burns to my knowledge you disproved me and made it home.
As your personal doctor and surgeon, there is nothing I can do to you now and I will not ever take you into my THEATER again, you are good this way. I saw you pull over a car in the hospital, you drive? You are smart! Educated! Intelligent! I read you in the blogs, magazines, news-feeds, timelines and all but why do you still worry more? At a time all your family wished for you was to stay alive.
I have sliced your body for a long time and I know how it feels. The money your parents spent and all, the pains you have been through. Ok, remember when you were discharged and due to the healing processes your left arm go contrasted that I had to slice your full hand and part of your back to correct it?
Kay: yeah! I do remember.
Doctor: you bleed a lot that day. It's sad you want to do this plastic surgery but it will not be from me. You're my friend, not my patient.
Kay: why? (Feeling so down and confused)
Doctor: you are one of those patients I have treated that anesthesia doesn’t work on. You have adjusted the threshold of your pain that you don’t really feel too much pain, just smiles and being alone. You've been a good young kid since I met you at IYIENU and till date I'm still marveled at how you have stood your ground on our now society that sees burns victim as visionless, scary, or maybe at alms survival. You broke out of the chain of living with burns and I'm happy we are here today having this chat.
Kay: since you said that you will not slice me ever again what do you advice I do sir?
Doctor: it’s a hard decision but I will say it to you because at the end it is only you (YOU WILL HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE SCARS). Now listen, I can scrape all this scars off but mind you if I don’t do it within the keliodial skin layer it will all resurface. This time heavier and thicker and thereby causing you more depression because you will lose lots of money and still having a heavier keloid scars. Some will advise you to take injections and all but Kay how many years will you take the injections? And let me blow your mind, those injections are steroids. They will fail you at the end.
You have always been a brave man, whatever that is pushing you to these ideas isn't worth it. Just cut is out, it’s of no good to you.
I know you have been through a lot both in schools and all but always look at the brighter part of life.
Hey remember the first time you visited my hospital for your ear slicing/ treaming. After the administration of so much mils of pain reliever I tried to cut deep through your body and sewing them, you were in deep pains and I had to administer overdose of the anesthesia just to make sure you were not feeling the pains. I tried to ask you some questions just to make sure your brains/CNS no longer transmit the pains and insertion of the blades and all, you kept saying you want to be a petrochemical engineer just to buy your mum a car, house and also make sure no one experienced burns from adulterated kerosene.
But I'm happy you are not that today, am happy fate brought you to being a Clinical Psychologist. I guessed it helped you become who you are today, I wish someday for your story to be told (A LIVING LEGEND).
You are indeed a God’s gift to earth. I will not force you not to go to other doctors here and beyond to get yourself fixed but mind you, they would always ask me for my files/folders about you and my expert opinion, I will still tell them NO.
Kay: but wait on sir, it wasn’t easy being like this, am heading to 3 decades, I had learned on how to adjust psychologically, emotionally, mentally and all. To be me wasn’t easy, but I'm happy.
Doctor: now how did you get here?
Kay: words
HOW DID I BEAT DEPRESSION: as a growing up 9 years young lad, I visualized the society is free and fair, I remember that time I was crying to go home. After a year I got tired of the hospital, got tired of the bed to bed numbering deaths and you sent me home almost when it was about to get to my bed? The hospital administrator wanted to keep me but we both insisted that I booked as OPD patients and all. I got home that day despite the blood dripping from the gauzed bandages, I was happy to be home, see my siblings, go back to my six spring bed, get to watch my red black & white television in my room and see the neighbors and all it was a very good view, till this (unnamed) kid drummed into my ear to run away from house flies, then my fears started that I could see a fly from far away and run. It affected me; I couldn’t go out because of it. I was driven to the hospital for dressing on daily basis but as the healing process was increasing, it was every other day till once a week. The keloids were not there, I was just fair and white that my little sis always say, 'Kay, are you now white?' because I was really white then, till the itching started.
IDEATIONS: Yes ideations do come and go and I have never given in to it.
It’s a life people with scars are seen as less human in the society, but trust me a lot of those with scars are smart, intelligent, hardworking, serviceable and so much more.
Remember those scars could be you, him, her, they, we and all. And trust me, stigmatization is real. I have felt it.
ANXIETY: yes, as a normal human being either with scars or not, psychologically at a point in ones life’s struggle will tend to go through anxiety. I had to deal with it, it’s a psychological process.
During my secondary school days I was scared of being mocked at, yabbed at but trust me, I was mocked at I felt it but there’s nothing I could do. It's a very big school filled with lots of students (different homes, perception about life, societal values, religion, ethnicity etc).
What did I do? I developed a thick skin during one of the yabbing sessions. I first yabbed myself, “Yes, I am a burns patient ugly etc.” then hit hard verbally on the guy that wanted to talk ill of me. Indeed I used the words he thought that once he tells me I will kill myself on me first, there and then he lost grip and I put him straight. Case closed!
I went home that day and cried myself to sleep but I got to let them know socially that they can’t use those words on me.
I was rejected so many times because I couldn’t fit into the system, I had scars and sometimes I bleed so I wasn’t what they needed and I had to crawl back to my shell.
Didn’t ask questions in class, had to copy from my younger brother till we parted. He left for art while I was left in science. At a time I wanted to join him in art but the class was all filled up. He's indeed my hero; he always fought for me and he was a gift and definition of a blood and brother. We do fall out but he’s my best gift. I'm happy to have him, some even thought we were twins but we weren’t.
FURFILLED: doctor, it depends on what you see as being fulfilled. I am not fulfilled reason being that I don't have the wherewithal to go to the grass roots to share my life with those burns victims, the stigmatizing they face, hate speech, stares. Lots of burns NGOs have written to me on being their member but none is ready to go to the rural & grass root. Life is not on Facebook, the real life is outside where you can really go out to the street and make people believe in themselves, feel loved, motivated, hug them, let them see that spark of what you write and post here in your attitude and behavior.
When I was invited by Infunaya the founder of FAITH MICHEL’S FOUNDATION on one of her programs tagged: SHARE A SMILE, i participated with much enthusiasm. She indeed went to the grass roots to really cause a smile on the faces of the less privileged. That's the kind fulfillment I want Sir.
ARE YOU HAPPY?
I know a lot of the people reading this might have skipped out some of my other answers just to read this ARE YOU HAPPY response.
I am alive today to sit down and type-write my autobiography.
In the hospital back then, those with lighter burns 2nd 1st degree died but miraculously I made it alive. All my other reconstructive surgeries I have never begged for blood or bought blood in the bank, still a miracle.
The strength to carry on was there, I was just a baby; God gave me an outstanding threshold for enduring of pains, still a miracle.
All my days in the hospitals, few of them I never had any complications. My wounds and surgeries site healed perfectly despite the weather conditions, still a miracle.
Despite my whole face was covered by the fire, at the end my two eyes were left unhurt, my dimples, my golden smile, my thick hair, my pink lips and my chocolate color, still a miracle.
My parents, God blessed them with nice friends that helped support my unimaginable hospital bill, still a miracle.
Despite the itches I had during my healing process that I almost cursed life because I felt it was giving me migraine, still a miracle.
A lot of people ran away from me because they weren’t sure if it was me that told them in jss1 see you guys tomorrow and resurfaced in jss2 like, damn man is this really you? We need proof! I love you guys now we acted our age then more love to you all.
I left different higher institutions because I had personality issues but now am me, still a miracle.
To be continued………………..
obumlovely@gmail.com
+2347031810349
FB: Kay Obum
For your comments/seminars invites/ work
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