People often think that in
order to change the world or make a difference in other people's lives, they
have to do extraordinary things. But I believe that doing very little things
like recognizing and changing your bad behaviour and attitudes towards other
will go a long way to changing
And improving the world,
making life better for others and giving the precious gift of happiness to
others. We can change the world by changing our own bad attitude and behaviour.
As a student of psychology,
I've come to know that people's bad attitudes, poor judgment, disruptive behaviour
and distorted mindset towards other people are at the centre of most problems
we have with friends, in family and communities, at workplace and church, and
even within our own self. The most destructive behaviour and mindset I would
like to write about is rudeness or rude behaviour.
What is rudeness?
Rudeness, also referred to as impudence
or effrontery, is a display of
disrespect and nastiness to others in a manner that does not comply with the
social norms or etiquette of a group or a culture. Experts, especially
psychologist, believe that in some cases, rudeness or rude behaviour can be
brought about by some emotional and psychological problems like explosive and
defiant personalities, borderline, antisocial and inferiority complex
personality disorders. Other experts have attributed rude behaviour to poor
parental up-bringing and family dysfunctional. The hallmark of these
personality problems is lawlessness and disrespectful attitudes toward authorities
or established laws. Rude people are also very difficult with maintaining
boundaries of accepted normal behaviour. So, the inability or the unwillingness of
these people to align their behaviour with established laws, known to the
general public as socially acceptable behaviour, is what is referred to as rude
behaviour. You must know that many rude people do not know that they have rude
behaviour and because of their possible emotional instability and impulsivity,
they can be physically and emotionally violent and abusive. So, try dealing
with them with caution. Behaviour that would be judged as rude includes, disrespectful,
sarcasm, discourtesy, vulgarity, harshness, intrusiveness, crudeness,
impertinence, awkwardness, ignorance, unskillfulness and boorishness.
Who is rude person?
Sometimes people
misunderstand assertiveness and rudeness, but the two are not in any way the
same. In fact, they are two different and opposite directions to each other. Assertiveness,
for example, is a way an individual uses to standing-up for him or herself in
the face of intimidation, exploitation, disregard for one's right and dignity
and arbitrary intention to take another person’s respect or meekness or
self-control for granted. Generally, assertiveness is meant to be achieved
without rudeness. However, rude people are not asserting themselves or standing
up for themselves, rather they are the perpetrators of intimidation,
exploitation, disregard and try to violate other people's rights and dignities.
They have a particular ways of talking, which is crude, vulgar, insensitive and
disrespectful to others. They find it very difficult to maintain a
boundary. For example, if a teacher or
lecturer wants to relate with his or her student, a good behaved student will
understanding his or her position in the relationship and will not try to cross
the boundary. That is not the case with a rude student. He will find it
difficult to maintain lecture-student relationship, but will start claiming
equality with the lecturer and will start using words and gestures that signal rudeness.
Rude ways of speaking
include, inappropriately touching your senior, using vulgarity or questions
that show disrespect. Other rude ways include discouraging a person's
participation in a conversation with rude phrases, such as "shut up"
or raising your voice in a way that indicates disrespect for the other person. They
are known to talk impolitely, which may amplify rude remarks or contradictions.
A rude person may interrupt a speaker, shout people down while they are
speaking, and make silly side comments in a way to indicate that what he
speaker is saying is unimportant. Some people may be passively rude, that is
refusing to answer question, looking at you strangely or ignoring a legitimate
and polite greeting or question to communicate disregard for the other person,
or might fail to express appropriate greeting for favours or gifts by way of
communicating either a sense of selfish entitlement or a disregard for the
efforts of the giver
Insensitive to people with
misfortunes or defects can be seen as rudeness. Also, disturbing others with
useless noise or loud music is rudeness. An acceptable level of sound depends
on the context: yelling might be the only way to be heard at a very noisy place, but a conversation at a normal level,
either by telephone or in person, might be rude in an environment where a
reasonable degree of silence is expected, such as a library, church, lecture
hall, meeting place. Using electronic devices, like cell phones, if this
results in ignoring someone or otherwise indicating that the present company is
less interesting or important than the people elsewhere or the text messages
they send.
Why are people rude?
We have maintained
previously that a lot of situations may combine to make one a rude person,
including family, culture, personality, psychological problems and low thinking
ability. If a person is specifically rude to you, there must be some reasons
driving that behaviour. While it may seem like the person is all out to get you
and make your life miserable, there has to be some trigger for that
(subconscious or conscious). Why is the person acting this way to you? Why is
this person being such a jerk? If you understand why, it will very well help in
your future interactions with the person and people similar to him/her.
However, it will surprise you to know that many rude people think they have the
right to behaviour and speak the way they do. For this reason, it is difficult
to talk since into them. Some have been severely abused by other while they
were children, and rudeness becomes a way to vent the anger to the world
How to stop rude behaviour
There are couple of ways to
stop rude behaviour, but I just picked up the following: 1) self-help, 2)
family intervention 3) professional help, 4) reformation centres like the
prison.
Self-help: this is in the invent the self-denial is overcome and the individual
started to notice that people are not happy with his behaviour and such
rejection may trigger self-examination and direct-direction. It is very difficult for rude people to own
up that their behaviour is rude and it is not good for them, even if the know
it, change the behaviour is often the hardest part because of the anxiety
associated with change. However, pressure from family and relatives may make it
possible for a rude people to take up the challenges of self-help. They can do
that by reading books, asking friends to tell him the type of behaviour they
see repugnant and rude. Practicing self-control and self-restrain techniques.
Spirituality can also help.
Family intervention: Family members
may put pressure on their rude child to change. This can be done through family
get-together, meeting or reunions. Even though some rude people may become
defensive and rationalistic, but the family intervention has been the most
successful ways of change a rude behaviour. However, the earlier the better.
Family intervention works better when the person is younger and still dependent
on the family support system. When his become an adult, it is more difficult to
track him down.
Professional help: professional
help is when a counselling or clinical psychologist is needed.. When a rude
person's behaviour presence nuisance and disruption to other people on a daily
basis and other interventions did not work, the person should be sent to a
professional. In fact, for this level of rudeness, you cannot just walk away
and leave the person alone or be rude back to him. No! Remember, most people
are not even aware that they are being rude. Just bring it to their attention
may not even work because of psych unsolved and untreated psychological issues.
With a professional, many issues can be visited and dealt with which may be
responsible for the rude behaviour.
Reformation centres like the prison: Believe it or not, some rude people will not stop until they are
"shocked" out of rudeness. Sometimes, one or two days in reformatory
or jail is what they needed to change.
Conclusion.
What to bear in mind about
rude people:
a) " whoever one is,
wherever one is, one is always in the wrong if one is
Rude"
a) " Rudeness is the
weak and ignorant person's imitation of strength"
c) "The less you
respond to rude, critical, argumentative people the more
Peaceful your life will
become..." Because rude people are sick, but they
Don’t know it.
Need help? Just contact us,
or write to us if u don’t wana publicise it,
Also if u have any kind of
issues that’s is bothering you, want us to write on? Just contact us also we
promise to write about it.
obumlovely@gmail.com were ready to
help!
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